Do I Have To Wait Forever
by AmethystB
Summary: {Songfic, one-shot, fluffy. 'Nuff said.} Just as I thought my feet were literally going to fall off, Ryo Akiyama emerged from the shadows, his usual grin plastered on his face. “Late night call with the snow?”


Amethyst Blizzard: I'm here, again, to bring y'all a nice, Christmasy fic that'll hopefully bring peace and love into your day.  
  
Floramon: Yep, it's official. Amethyst has finally cracked, never to be sane again.  
  
A.N: Of course I've cracked. I cracked while writing this damn fic, it makes me all...gooey inside. I don't like it. Floramon, when can I get back to writing gory, violent, dark fics that don't make me all...gooey?  
  
Floramon: *shudders* AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! *clears throat* By the way, isn't Christmas Eve supposed to be full of raving parties and dancing? Well, then how come you're just sitting here, typing away at your computer, not having a life?  
  
A/N: Well, I would have a life if I weren't so obsessed with writing. Oh, and besides, I'm underage for nightclubs. *glares*  
  
Disclaimer: I really don't see the point in doing this but if it'll make people happy then I suppose I should. I don't own Digimon. Or Rika or Ryo. There.  
  
Okaly dokaly, time to introduce my little ficcy here. Sonfic to the song "Where Are You Now?" By Michelle Branch. One-shot, first-person viewy thingy. (Rika) Pure fluff, with very, very, very mild angst, because I couldn't abandon that now could I? *laughs insanely* Enjoy!  
  
Do I Have To Wait forever?  
  
**  
  
I sighed as I contently watched the soft snow cascade down from the infinite dark sky. The white substance fell down so gracefully that it made me think. There are so many snowflakes that's its hard to follow just one without losing it on the way. It is almost impossible to follow one right down to the white-covered ground.  
  
I shifted vacantly as I let myself become more comfortable in my standing position. I was leaning against a wall in the kitchen, staring at the phone, waiting for her to call. She had been working late nights this past month, but I thought tonight would be an exception, since it was Christmas Eve. Yet once again, my mother was proving me wrong. As I glanced somewhat awkwardly at the family clock, I realized it was almost eleven.  
  
I sighed again, this time accepting the fact that my mother wouldn't be home much before midnight, which would mean she had missed spending Christmas Eve with her family and the ones she cared about the most. Yeah right, if she cared, she'd be here.  
  
It had been two months since I had lost Renamon to the elusive Digital World, and I hadn't been coping very well. Since then, the only person that I called regularly was Jeri, but even so, we hardly saw each other since we went to different schools. That reminded me of something else. For once, I wish that I could live a normal life, go to a normal school, where school uniforms aren't compulsory, and not be reminded of my past. Instead, my life consisted of poshness and girls who think of nothing but hair, accessories and dating Ryo Akiyama. It's enough to make anyone nauseous.  
  
I turned my head to look into the family living room, where everything was brightly decorated with tinsel and Christmas greeting cards. The large Christmas tree stood proudly at the far end of the room, though I could smile the pine from where I was standing. Ball-balls and candy canes were amongst other bright, cheery decorations, intertwined in small branches and pine needles. A gold, shiny star rested at the top of the tree, its five points protruding out to their respective directions.  
  
My grandmother was behind me in the kitchen, making eggnog for tomorrow. She looked up and smiled reassuringly at me. I found myself smiling back, though inside, I felt like throwing a brick out the window. I was so disappointed because this year was one of the rare Christmases that actually meant something to me. My mother and I were a lot closer and I now accepted friendship and love, I wasn't afraid to let it in, but she wasn't here.  
  
As if on que to endorse my thoughts, the phone rang. I picked it up and answered. "Hello?"  
  
My mother's voice sounded on the other end. "Sorry honey, but it looks like I'm going to be working later that I thought. I have all these photo shoots scheduled that I didn't know about. I'll try to make it home before midnight, but I'll have to see."  
  
I forced a smile, though she couldn't see it. "Ok, Mom. I guess I'll see you soon. Don't rush. Bye." I cut her off before she could respond and instead of throwing the phone back into its place like I felt like doing, I placed it gently back into its holder. I then turned to my grandma. "I'm going to go for a walk. I need some fresh air.  
  
Taking her nod as unspoken permission, I headed for the door.  
  
*~*  
  
Maybe I'd be better on my own  
  
No one ever seems to understand me  
  
It's easier for me to be alone  
  
But there's still a piece of me that feels so empty  
  
*~*  
  
As I made my way down an empty street, a trench coat covering my cold limbs, I began to think. When I was the Digimon Queen, I was ruthless, cold, and selfish, but I never lost, except against Ryo, but that's different. Everyone kept out of my way, never challenging me, always fearing me. I liked that fear I gave off, that air of superiority that made me who I was. Yet now, now that I've opened up, I feel as if that fear has gone and people just see me as one of the 'kids' who helped saved this world from devastation, but that's not really who I am. I'm not just some 'kid' that anyone can overlook and just be taken for a 'hero' and all that stuff. Sure, I am a hero in a sense but now that I'm part of a team, people just see me as that and not as the Digimon Queen.  
  
I looked up and shivered. Snow was beginning to fall again and all I was wearing was a midnight blue tank top, a pair of jeans and an old trench coat. I should've brought a jacket with me or something, as it was getting colder. I pulled the trench coat tighter around my waist to warm myself up a little but it wasn't working as well as I hoped.  
  
I stopped and looked around me, the feeling of familiarity dawning on me. I had made my way unconsciously to the West Shinjuku Park, a place where I used to come all the time to meet Takato and Henry. The park was empty, bar a few random couples taking nightly strolls, and some teenagers who looked like they were coming home from a party. The surrounding scene looked almost tranquil and I simply embraced it. Every tree was completely covered in fallen snow, white to the roots, and the ground, where lush grass was usually found, was engulfed entirely in mounds of snow. The sometimes- uneven mounds still grew, as the snow was falling more heavily now.  
  
I don't know why, but a felt a strange sense of loneliness rush through me. Here I was, standing all alone on what once was a concrete path, shivering to the bone and in serious need of something more that a trench coat. I felt lonely, and I wanted someone to fill that deep, dark void.  
  
*~*  
  
I've been all over the world  
  
I've seen a million different places  
  
But through the crowds and all the faces  
  
I'm still out there looking for you  
  
*~*  
  
I hated to admit it, but I longed for someone to hold me, someone to love for who I am instead of just being alone. I loved to have that solitude of being alone, but trust me; it gets rather boring after a while. I know I've just being saying all these things about being the Digimon Queen and being strong on my own, but when I'm alone, I feel so empty. I want something more than just holding my own against things, I want someone to respect me, to love me, and to know the real me.  
  
A cold shiver ran down my back when I realized I was thinking about him again. Ryo, that is. We've known each other for quite a while, but we never really have taken the time to get to know each other more. When we faced off in the Digimon Card competition, we were introduced and such, but some on, he could've been an axe murderer for all I knew. But still, that day I took him all in; his eyes, his stupid perfect hair, his stupid perfect teeth when he casually flashed his smile at me, and of course, his technique. By technique, I mean the card game. He always kept me guessing and I never knew which card he would play next, it really annoyed me because I eventually found myself inferior to him. He beat me purely because he was able to anticipate my next move every single time, when I had no idea what card he would play.  
  
I heard a twig lightly snap behind me and I sharply turned my head around to see what it was. A sudden feeling of hope and anxiety flushed through me but I knew it was impossible. It just had to be, right?  
  
*~*  
  
Where are you now?  
  
I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all  
  
What is the chance of finding you out there  
  
Or do I have to wait forever?  
  
*~*  
  
I squinted in the darkness but I couldn't make out a thing. It was just too dark and there were few lights around me. I relied heavily on the full moon resting proudly in the night sky and light up the surrounding area, I still couldn't see a thing. I sighed and scolded myself for thinking that maybe he would be there, waiting for me like he had all the time in the world, but I knew he didn't. He might now even be in the real world. I mean, knowing him he wouldn't be able to stay in one place for more than twenty- four hours, so it might be possible that he escaped back into the Digital World. Who knows, he could be anywhere, why would he show up here, anyway?  
  
I knew I was just mentally crossing off all possibilities why Ryo wouldn't be here, but a part of me still hoped that we was here, maybe just around the corner so I could see him again. He was older that me sure, but maybe that's why I want to see him so bad; because he's mature (well, sort of) and more experienced than me. Maybe that's why I was so attracted to him, because he was older.  
  
I wondered bleakly where he was and what he'd be doing now, when I realized that it must be way past eleven-thirty by now. Of course he wouldn't be out here, it's almost midnight and it was Christmas Eve. He was probably with his family, doing family things together. I thought darkly that he was lucky to have a family who cared about him and I felt strangely jealous and disturbed by the thought. I was almost going to turn back to go back home when I heard a footstep in the snow. Yes, it was unmistakable, that crunching sound that disturbed the perfectly laid out snow.  
  
*~*  
  
I write about the things I'll never know  
  
And I can't find a moment just to slow down  
  
It makes me think I'll never have the chance  
  
To figure out what it's all about  
  
So tell me what it's all about  
  
*~*  
  
I lightly fingered the outside of my trench coat as I waited nervously for whoever was there to show themselves. Whoever it was, was clever enough to keep themselves hidden in the shadows of the trees. Fear crept into my skin as I noticed whoever it was wasn't moving any closer. I could almost reach out and grab them I was so close, but I didn't know whom it was. It could've been anyone for all I knew, so I kept perfectly still, trying hard not to breathe through my mouth since my breath would come out in steamy puffs.  
  
From the lack of movement, my feet were slowly becoming numb from the snow covering them, but I dared not move. Whoever it was waiting in the shadows obviously wanted me to get frostbite. At last, I lost my patience and my composure. "Whoever you are, you'd better show yourself, unless you want me to lost all of the feeling in my feet."  
  
"I thought it was you, Rika."  
  
*~*  
  
Where are you now?  
  
I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all  
  
What is the chance of finding you out there  
  
Or do I have to wait forever?  
  
*~*  
  
Just as I thought my feet were literally going to fall off, Ryo Akiyama emerged from the shadows, his usual grin plastered on his face. "Late night call with the snow?"  
  
I glared at his excuse of a lame joke and took a step forward to relieve myself of the numbness in my feet. "Damn it, Ryo. Couldn't you have done that sooner?"  
  
Ryo mocked confusion. "What, crack a joke to make you...uh...glare?"  
  
Despite my situation, I had to smile. His profound confusion was kind off funny, although it was false. "No you idiot, stepped out of the shadows so I could see you."  
  
Ryo gave a huge nod and lifted his finger in the air. "Oh, that. Well, I had to make sure it was you to be able to do that. I mean, for all I knew, you could've been an axe murderer or something."  
  
I smiled at the irony of that sentence and felt glad that Ryo hadn't asked the question that I was dreading yet.  
  
Taking advantage of my silence, Ryo began walking through the snow, motioning for me to follow him. "So, what are you doing here, anyway?"  
  
Well, it had to come out sooner or later. In this case, it was sooner than I had hoped for. "Well, my mother's working late tonight and instead of waiting for her at home, I decided to spend my time trudging through six inches of snow on a freezing cold night." I couldn't help but sound sarcastic and I felt guilty for resenting my mother so much. It really wasn't her fault for having to work late.  
  
Without taking his eyes off whatever was in front of us, he nodded. "You know, you shouldn't resent your mother so much. It really isn't her fault she has to work late."  
  
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared up at him. Once he realized I wasn't walking anymore, he turned around and gave me a questioning look. I soon found my voice and looked up to face him. "Are you some kind of a mind- reader or something? I mean, I was thinking the exact same thing and then you just said it. Are we somehow mentally linked or something?"  
  
He gave me a level look and pretended to consider that. "Well, we do think alike, so maybe something happened to us during the fight with the D-Reaper or something." He shrugged meaninglessly and I rolled my eyes. Why was he playing dumb tonight?  
  
He chuckled slightly and turned around. "Don't worry, I'm just playing dumb. I guess great minds think alike."  
  
I glared at his receding figure and I realized I hadn't asked him why he was here.  
  
*~*  
  
Where are you now?  
  
I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all  
  
And I still down know  
  
Where are you now?  
  
*~*  
  
He was about a whole ten feet in front of me before I even bothered to catch up. "Wait. So why are you here? Did your dad forget to buy the turkey?"  
  
He made his way into Guilmon's old hideout before he shrugged and offered me an answer. "My parents had another fight today. There was too much tension so I had to get out of there. And I wound up here, pining for solitude."  
  
He was leaning against one of the walls and in the bright light of the shining moon, I caught a glimpse of what he was wearing. Baggy jeans, a dark blue top and a black jacket were all that I was able to see before a grey cloud fell across the giant sphere.  
  
"Oh." Was all I could say. I knew what it was like to come home to screaming parents, so I felt sorry for him. I guess life wasn't really that perfect after all.  
  
He shrugged it off like a mosquito and I could tell he was hiding from it. "It's nothing. They'll get over it." I could tell he really didn't feel that way but he was just trying to keep a brave face.  
  
I decided to change the subject. "You know, it's funny. I was kind of thinking about you before. It's ironic that you just sort of showed up here."  
  
He smiled down on me. "Yeah it is." He smirked slightly. "So what were you thinking about me?"  
  
I smirked back, forming a plot in my head. "Well, nothing good really. Just how you managed to beat me totally by fluke at the Digimon Championship."  
  
He tilted his head. "By fluke, huh? You know, we should have a rematch one of these days, see whose better now."  
  
I came to stand next to him against the wall. "Yeah, we should. It'd be fun." After a slight pause, I realized that we were standing next to each other, and our hands were slightly touching. I tired desperately not to flinch because for some reason, I didn't want to move away from him. I took in a shaky breath and looked up at him. I found him staring down at me, his face serious for a change. I tried to say something, but I couldn't find my voice. He was completely empowering me, and I wasn't sure I liked it.  
  
He was the one to break the uncomfortable silence between us. "You know, at least we're not spending Christmas Eve on our own. We've got each other."  
  
I searched his face and finally rested my eyes on his. I found my voice. "Yeah."  
  
And at that precise moment, our lips met in a soft, impersonal kiss that I wished could've lasted forever.  
  
*~*  
  
I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all  
  
What is the chance of finding you out there?  
  
Or do I have to wait  
  
Or do I have to wait  
  
Or do I have to wait forever?  
  
*~*  
  
~~  
  
A/N: Turned out pretty good considering it was fluffy and not violenty or anywhere near angsty. (That's not even a word but I feel like adding y's to everything. See what this fic has done?!)  
  
Hope you enjoyed and please review!  
  
Amethyst 


End file.
